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Monday 29 June 2009

If you think your job is the pits…..

…it could be worse. You could stand at the entrance to Asda with a badge saying "I am your greeter today!" you can tell it's the worst job in the place because all these greeters look so miserable. And isn't the whole concept of someone paid to greet you at the entrance to a supermarket just completely awful?

And the worst part? "Word" doesn't query the spelling of "greeter". It thinks it's a real word. 

Tuesday 9 June 2009

Charlie Darwin has been at it again

I grow Brassicas which you may know as a fancy name for cabbages, cauliflowers, turnips, radishes etc. Enter, the Cabbage White Butterfly which probably has a Latin name but who cares? These beasties used to lay neat yellow clumps of eggs on the leaves of my crops that hatched out into caterpillars and decimated the foliage. 

So I got a system. Once or twice a week, I'd check the kitchen garden for said neat yellow clumps of eggs and squash them. Result! No caterpillars. Woot!

Until this year when Charlie upped the ante. I found a load of fully-grown caterpillars munching away at the kohlrabi leaves. On the Sea Kale too. No eggs anywhere!

I'm still trying to work out how he's done it. Maybe there are eggs but they're so small or well camouflaged that I haven't spotted them. Or maybe the eggs are just as big as they ever were but were laid on some other plant and the caterpillars marched across the lawn?

Answers, as they say, on a postcard.

Saturday 6 June 2009

Tested

The office has some square holes in the wall. A lot are filled with network connectors, phone jacks or 13 amp power sockets. Someone put in more than we needed so some are just empty, yawning holes. Not a problem! Somewhere in deepest Milton Keynes, a marketing guy spotted an opportunity! Blanking plates! A simple square of plastic with holes for fixing screws. And, realising the importance of offering lifestyle choices he decreed that for a few pence more, the consumer could have stylish rounded corners on their blanking plates as well as the plain economy model.

But I digress. We had these holes in the office wall and the office was so quiet, I had time to deal with them. As I fitted the blanking plates, I noticed that they all had a sticky label, "Tested". 

I fell to wondering just how they test blanking plates? Maybe someone stares hard at them, daring them to laugh? Or puts 1000 volts across them to see if they burst into flame? 

I suppose it's designed to make me feel reassured. I'm not that sort of guy. I'm just not going to trust "Tested" stickers any more.