The view from COVID-19

Down at the Virulent Arms, the viruses are gathered for Saturday evening drinks when in walks COVID-19. There’s a sudden hush, broken only by a sarcastic cough from the Chief Virus.

“What have you been doing lately young virus?”  She asks,

“Quite a lot!” says COVID-19, “I started in China, moved on to Italy, tomorrow, the World! I’m having a great time spreading everywhere!”

“I hear you’ve been killing a lot of humans?”

COVID-19 looked a little embarrassed. “Well, yes, I know that’s not a good idea because I don’t spread from a dead body  but despite that, I’m spreading really fast so it doesn’t matter!

The Chief Virus sighed. “Changing the subject completely, have you seen your Uncle Smallpox lately?”

“No, I heard he’d got stuck in a vault somewhere and isn’t in the wild anymore?”

“And why did the humans do that to him?”

“Well, he killed a lot of them and some bloke called Jenner invented vaccination and they ganged up and … Oh dear!”

“Exactly you silly little chump!” shouted the Chief Virus, “Now put down that drink and go out and mutate into something harmless before those pesky humans get so annoyed they come after all of us with some super-duper generic anti-viral!“