People Care System

"I'm sorry," said Bruce into the phone, "could you speak up, please? There's a lot of noise in here today!" 
The client hung up. Bruce cursed and turned to glare at Damien who was standing by a new machine. 
"What the hell's that noisy monstrosity and what is it doing in the Counselling Centre???" 
Damien smiled. 
"It's the new card printer and it wouldn't fit anywhere else" 
"What do we want a card printer for?" 
"It's a vital part of the new "People Care System" - and you've already benefited from it yourself!" 
"I have?" 
"You got a Christmas card signed by the Chair of Trustees" 
"It came from that machine?" 
"Yes, it even did the personal signature!" 
"Fantastic" 
Damien, missing the sarcasm, ploughed on. 
"It does birthdays too and when a Counsellor or Client is sick, it automatically sends out a 'Get Well Soon' card!" 
"Let me guess, it's automatically personally signed by all the Trustees?" 
"You're getting the idea! - It's so important that people feel that the whole Board is with them!" 
"I prefer the old method!" 
Damien's heart sunk, the man was such a dinosoar. "What would that be?" 
"When I had the 'flu, Wendy called round with a bottle of my favourite Whisky!" 
"Not allowed anymore!" 
"Progress? Health and Safety? Financial constraints?" 
"Sort of. It was felt it might endanger our funding from the local Alcohol Partnership"