Caution: May contain disclaimers

Just saw this advert on Facebook. Red line added by me.

Language

Went to the Chinese takeaway the other night. It wasn't usual chap. Managed Ok, asking for number 45, etc. Then he looks straight at me and says something totally incomprehensible.

I indicate I didn't get it.
So he repeats
I still haven't got it.
He tries again
Oh, I think he's asking if I'm all ready for Christmas?
So I lie and say "Yes"
"You have problem hearing?" he continues.
I ponder telling "No" but it seems more diplomatic to answer "Sometimes"

Not Mourning Woolworths

So, Woolworths is going down the tubes. I'm only surprised that it's taken so long. I mean, what is the modern Woolworths for?

Years ago, they sold "everything". You needed a replacement bulb for a table lamp, an egg poacher, a ball of string - just about anything and you went to Woolies and they'd usually got one. The modern Woolworths is full of rubbish you don't want - except perhaps chocolate.

Fortunately, there's competition - "Wilkinsons". This is a chain of shops that's a bit like Woolies used to be. They have a reasonably complete range of kitchen stuff, garden stuff (seasonal), stationery, DIY car accessories and chocolate.

They even have a replacement cast iron coal fire grate! Ok, I admit - I don't want a fire grate but hey, next time I do need something mundane an ordinary, they're the first place I'll try.

Link
Wilkinson web site - rather ordinary - don't be put off