An attempt to match me up

Bumped into an old mate at a dance tonight. He told me he'd got married to a 36-year-old woman.
"Nice!" I said.
Social convention dictates that I should have asked if she's got a sister but I'm not very good at that sort of thing. He helped me out
"She's got a sister!"
I came straight to the point.
"Does she dance?"
"Yes and she's very keen to get married"
"Uh huh?"
"Only problem is she's still stuck in the Philippines"
"Shame!" I said with rare diplomacy.

The contents of the glass

To an optimist, the glass is half full.
To a pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Doh!

Marks and Spencer's have Mince Pies. The box says "Classics for Christmas". It also says "Best before 29 Nov"

Less Pink

I've been getting a lot less junk mail (aka "Spam") recently. To the point where I wondered if my email system was broken.

Then I found out the reason. It seems that a large portion of the world's spam was controlled from a server in California. So did the government close it down with a Police raid, lots of flashing lights and SWAT teams?

No.

The two companies who provided Internet access saw what was happening and cut the blighters off.

Nice to see some community action.

Link
Major Source of Online Scams and Spams Knocked Offline